


A Prompt Never Goes Wrong... Or Does It?

by Sweetysweetssugarytreats



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Boys Being Dramatic, Crack, M/M, This is weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 09:42:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19374142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetysweetssugarytreats/pseuds/Sweetysweetssugarytreats
Summary: Prompt: Humans start out at birth with milk white blood. The more crimes they commit, the darker their blood becomes. One day you meet your soulmate. Skip a few years and things are amazing. Until your soulmate trips, falls… and exposes black blood.





	A Prompt Never Goes Wrong... Or Does It?

**Author's Note:**

> This happened because of a random prompt I found on google images and for once decided to write. This also took almost no effort at all to write (just a little bit because my laziness makes me look at easy things as a drag)
> 
> By the way today the temperature where live has reached 37 C° degrees so if any of this doesn't make sense it's because the heat has already gotten to me.

 

In a universe where your good will is not only determined by your actions but also by the sight of your blood, the crime rate is rather low. Either because people believe that being good is the secret to a joyful life, or they don't want to be easily discovered for their crimes.

In this universe soulmates do also exist and the story revolves around a certain couple, Gintoki and Toshiro. They found each other after their 18th birthday and they have been inseparable since then.

In fact Gintoki is now waiting for his boyfriend at their usual spot, sending a few angry texts to one of his best friends because… well, he doesn't remember why. He just remembers Shinsuke definitely did something wrong and he should make him feel guilty, and okay, that actually never works, but he is going to try anyway.

It has been a few months already since he and his soulmate started going out, and until now everything has been absolutely great.

And absolutely great means accepting each other's food addictions as 'almost normal'.

And that means it's absolutely great, right? Right. Very right.

The sun is particularly blinding today, shining on the sidewalk and making everything look a little bit brighter, a little bit cleaner, a little bit lighter. Most people are wearing white clothes too because they don't want to end up sizzling like eggs on the roof of a car.

Gintoki did that once and he had to admit the egg was as good as if it was cooked on a pan.

Shinsuke accused him of being unsanitary.

Gintoki accused him of being insane.

They went like this back and forth until Gintoki had to be taken to the hospital for food poisoning.

Shinsuke had the last laugh. Until he was also admitted to the hospital, being accused of talking to eggs and therefore being insane by Gintoki.

Side note: Shinsuke does not talk to eggs, Gintoki made it up.

Side side note: The doctor who admitted Shinsuke believing Gintoki was fired and is now a madao.

Side side side note: Shinsuke gave Gintoki an expired egg on purpose to crack on the roof of his car and eat.

Gintoki looks up from his screen when he  _feels_ Toshiro getting closer.

That is right people, he can actually feel it. If that's not relationship goals then nothing can be relationship goals.

"Hey, someone's late." He greets as he puts his phone away.

"Hey, someone's early." Toshiro bites back.

"Oh Toshi. You sweet, innocent, naive, little Toshi." Gintoki puts his hands on his shoulders and stares at him like a teacher would to an ignorant kid. "It is never too early for ice cream."

Which in this case means Toshiro is ignorant of the wonders of ice cream.

But that doesn't stop Toshiro from still being unimpressed with it all. "Don't use that condescending tone with me."

Gintoki tilts his head in confusion. "What does condescending mean?"

"…Nevermind… where are we going?" He asks once they start walking.

Gintoki's grin is almost as bright as the sun reflecting off his teeth. "But to get ice cream, of course!"

"And after that?"

"We enjoy our ice creams!"

Toshiro sighs. "We got ice cream yesterday too."

"It's too hot to not have ice cream everyday!" Gintoki wails like a kid now.

He sighs, again, not particularly keen on putting up a fight because the weather has started getting to him too. "If you say so."

 

 

* * *

 

 

After their recent purchase that Gintoki made difficult, like he always does, they are on their merry way to… well, they have no idea. They are just going to walk until their feet get tired, probably.

"Look, all I'm saying is that ice cream should be free." Gintoki tries to reason his very reasonable opinion.

Toshiro sends him a side-eyed wary glance. "But you didn't have to choke the seller when trying to make your point."

Gintoki sends him a side-eyed nonplussed glance. "Are you sure about that? Because to me it sounded like the point got across."

"You mean when he threatened to call the police on you?" Toshiro asks sarcastically.

"Yes." Gintoki answers, not sarcastic at all. "A little girl was even rooting for me."

"Little kids are becoming ruthless as the years go by."

"They sure are. Which is both good and scary."

"I don't see how that's a good?"

But Gintoki doesn't hear him, too lost in his ideals.

"Free ice cream is a human right, just like water." He suddenly stops in his tracks and gasps as if he just discovered the secret of the century. "Wait a second! Water is essential to life… why the fuck are we paying for it?!"

"…Huh?"

"And ice cream is essential to life too! Why the hell do we also have to pay for it?!" He shakes his head in disappointment and determination. "It's decided, I will start a riot to help combat this crime."

Toshiro simply shakes his head in denial. "Please don't."

"You mean please 'Please don't put yourself in danger for such a righteous cause because I worry so much about you my love?'"

"…Sometimes I ask myself why we are soulmates."

"Because opposites attract and your quiet, intelligent and highly strategic mind is complementary to my instinctual, heavily action- based and leadership-oriented one."

Toshiro blinks twice. "…Can you lie more to yourself even if you tried?"

"Are you saying you're not strategic?" Gintoki gasps in shock, as if that is the biggest truth he has ever been exposed to in his years alive.

"I'm saying everything that came out of your mouth was a big, fat, literal lie."

"How dare you insult your leader that way!"

"We're not made up characters fighting aliens in some weird universe! We're real people! So stop believing everything you think about in your head!"

"Never!"

Just then they get interrupted, not by someone, but by something. And that something is an out of control motorbike coming their way, in a weirdly specific zig zag pattern. It's evident the vehicle is out of control.

"Watch out!" Someone yells.

Toshiro, instinctively, steps to the side.

Gintoki is about to do the same, but his foot gets caught in a crack and he loses balance, for just a second. But even as he regains his footing, it's too late… not for him, but for his ice cream. Because it's falling out of his hand.

Almost in slow motion he sees it going down, down, down. But Gintoki can't let the heavenly dessert go to waste. He can't let this happen. No, not today.

With a battle cry that is completely out of place given the situation he finds himself in he jumps in the air, throwing himself in the ice cream's direction, managing to grip the cone in his hand safely and falling to the ground, rolling to the other side of the street just two seconds before the zig-zagy motorbike turns him into a mushy thing. And sure, Gintoki has always dreamed of waking up one day and being made of ice cream, but not turning into a creamy puddle after being run over.

After a few disorienting moments he raises his head so fast from the ground he almost has whiplash, but it is worth it because, by some miracle, the ice cream is still intact in his hand. He screeches in delight.

Someone is clapping. Someone else is booing? Whatever, people are weird.

He holds the cone high in his hand like a trophy. He managed to save it, just like the true leader he thinks he is in his head!

Toshiro is speechless for a full minute, before his feet carry him over to his boyfriend and he blinks down at him. "…Did you just risk your life for ice cream?"

"Ya bet your sweet ass I did!" Gintoki says it like a winner.

Toshiro opens his mouth. And closes it. And opens it again.

"What a fucking idiot."

"It's called having priorities in one's life."

"Nah, it's just called idiocy."

"Hey!"

Toshiro is about to delve some more into the matter of his idiotic boyfriend's mind, but there is something that makes him pause.

Gintoki is injured, he scuffed the side of his arm when he threw himself to the ground (like an idiot might he add) to save his ice cream. And while that may be a cause of concern, for more reasons that simply one, there is something else that overtakes the forefront of his mind like a fly on a windshield that just won't disappear, and it is so sudden his own ice cream almost falls from his hand at the sight.

Gintoki tilts his head at the abrupt pause. "What's wrong?"

He… is bleeding.

In all the months they have been together they have never actually gotten injured, neither of them has even thought about it. But they probably should have, Toshiro should have, because, right now, his blood is…

"…W-What's that?" He asks quietly, hesitant.

Gintoki looks down at himself, where the other boy's gaze is pointing, and stops at his arm. "Oh, it's just a bit of blo-"

He snaps his mouth shut.

A thick bead of blood oozes out of the superficial wound, but the liquid dripping steadily down his forearm is  _dark_. A stark black that makes his still too pale skin look almost white in the sunlight.

Toshiro is petrified before such a sight, his lungs stop pumping air in his body for more than a few seconds as his eyes remained fixed on the injury, like the scene of a crime he can't take his eye off of. His body seizes with tension, the thoughts inside his head mesh together, forming and fragmenting concepts, possible and impossible scenarios, inhuman and cruel and maybe not completely made up.

Because Toshiro is seeing the blood of his soulmate for the first time.

And it happens to be black blood.

Gintoki slowly raises his head, gaze fixed on him with he intensity of a man who just saw his life pass him by. It's as clear as the sun shining inside his eyes, making them dazzling like rubies in the light, that the realization has dawned on him too. In that moment the whole weight of the world could be resting on his shoulders with the implication of it all. He swallows thickly, opening his mouth with trepidation to give the much awaited but still dreaded explanation.

Then he snorts. "Dude, I have not paid for music since 2006."

Toshiro shrugs as if the last minute never happened. "Oh yeah, I forgot that was actually a crime."

"Me too, to be honest."

Gintoki gets up and dusts himself off, completely ignoring his still bloody forearm in favor of carefully holding his ice cream, of course. But when he sees his boyfriend's face slowly morph he worries just a little bit.

"Something wrong?"

Toshiro's eyes find his and his mouth slowly curves up the edges, a glint in his eyes tells Gintoki that he might be stirring something inside that smart (and, admittedly, at times dumb) handsome head of his. "…The opposite, actually."

Toshiro's smirk is a little scary… but a whole lot sexy.

"I heard that."

Gintoki 'tsks' to himself. "Damn, was I thinking out loud again?"

Toshiro nods, it's not exactly the first time it happens.

"I should stop doing that." Gintoki thinks to himself. "…I really can't wait to see you take your sweaty shirt off once we're back at mine."

"Gintoki!"

Gintoki snaps out of his thoughts. "Did I do it again? Damnit!"

Toshiro lets his slide… for now. He has bigger plans on his hands at the moment. Plans involving the end of a certain brat. He smiles evilly.

"I just had an idea."

"…You literally are the most attractive dude in the whole universe once you get an idea and holy fuck I really want to make out with you right now."

Toshiro stares in shock. His cheeks are definitely not red because of the heat… of the sun.

"…Crap, did I just say that out loud too?"

"You did." He makes a show to roll his eyes, but clears his throat and looks to the side, one would even dare describe it as… embarrassment. "…You can kiss me by the way… if you want to… whatever, it's not like I want to kiss you or anything, so don't get the wrong idea… but it's okay if you get the wrong idea and think I want to kiss you cause-"

Toshiro almost drops his ice cream when Gintoki pulls him in by the collar of his shirt and smashes their lips together.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

His plan is simple, really, very simple, as simple as 'call Sougo here to show him his soulmate has black blood so the brat will be frightened and never mess with him ever again'.

Alright, the name could be shorter but Toshiro doesn't have the time to come up with a new one while he is calling Sougo and asking to meet them up as soon as he can.

And by some stroke of luck Sougo takes little time to come to them, probably thinking he might have a chance to mess with Toshiro. But no, no, no. Not this time.

"Oh, the turntables." Gintoki says to himself as if he just read his soulmate's thoughts but wasn't able to quite grasp them.

"What?"

"I was just quoting a tv show."

Nevermind, Gintoki is an idiot.

A lovable, silly, attractive one that makes him feel like-

Toshiro halts his train of thought right there… for now. He needs to focus!

Sougo walks toward them once he spots them and stops a short distance away. Somehow a minute of silent staring starts between them, until Sougo decides to break it.

"What's up." He says monotonously.

Toshiro gives his cue to Gintoki as a jab on the side that Sougo definitely notices since they are four feet apart and Gintoki grunts something while rubbing at the slightly sore spot.

The boy looks between them with a level of interest that is 2 on a scale of 1 to 10.

Gintoki suddenly clears his throat and stares at Sougo dead in the eyes.

"I am not…" He pauses to give more effect to his words. "…who you think I am."

Sougo deadpans. "…What's that supposed to mean? You're not his soulmate?"

"I- wait- woah, woah, woah! Stop right there brat! Of course I am!" Gintoki quickly wraps an arm around Toshiro's shoulders, bringing him closer and rubbing their faces together adorably, with (not so) great displeasure from his soulmate. "We are soulmates! We are literally meant for each other! Nothing will ever change that!"

Sougo smiles kindly. "Of course. Idiots are always meant to be with each other." His words do not sound as kind however, even if he might think they are.

"Hey!" They both protest.

Sougo raises an amused eyebrow. "Oh, you also talk at the same time? Another sign that you are destined together, right after the obvious one of your shared stupidity."

"Heeey!"

Gintoki scoffs. "Whatever." He lets go of Toshiro for the moment being and strides towards Sougo, stopping right in front of him.

He twists his arm and shows him the dried, black blood on the small injury… and if he's lucky Toshi might disinfect it for him later… he contains the giggles that threaten to spill out of him at the scenarios already forming in his head.

Sougo looks at it as expressionless as ever, when the realization that the blood is not white but black settles in. His eyes grow a few millimeters wide, which is not a lot for a normal person but considering the guy is as emotionless as a robot Toshiro thinks he finally gave him the shock of his life.

Now he will slowly back away until he starts running home, lock himself in his room and never ever try to get close to him again, and all of this because he will be forever scared by the thought of Gintoki being a dangerous criminal!

And Sougo, obviously going against the mental movie he just created in his mind in the span of three seconds… kneels in front of Gintoki.

Toshiro's face almost comically shifts from endless happiness to confusing… confusion.

…Wait what?

"From this day onwards I promise to follow your every order. I will be your loyal servant and do whatever you ask me to. All hail to the king." Sougo recites as if he were in the medieval age, but he sounds way too sincere to be faking it.

Gintoki, after maybe ten seconds of dumbly staring… stares some more… still dumbly. "Is this happening in real life or am I dreaming I conquered Sweetownopoly… again?" He thinks out loud… again.

…Well, damn, this was not supposed to happen.

Toshiro, as he is becoming increasingly familiar with the action, sighs for the umpteenth time that day as a new wave of crushing disappointment settles heavily inside his heart.

"…This did not go exactly as planned."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Unfortunately for him, Gintoki's wish to have a servant steal for him all the ice cream in the world doesn't last. It ends when Sougo accidentally discovers that Shinsuke's blood is even darker than Gintoki's and he swears to be his faithful lackey for the rest of his days.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Unfortunately for both Sougo and Gintoki (Toshiro doesn't really care about this either way) Shinsuke has black blood not because of a series of illicit or morally questionable crimes he has committed. But because… he has an illegal puppy activity.

He takes unlucky dogs off the street, nurses them back to health and finds loving families for them to be a part of. While earning a more than moderate profit for his efforts. And of course he lacks the certification that states he is allowed to do so. And the money he makes out of this… business of his don't exactly count as a good deed, especially not with the kind of prices he comes up with.

But Sougo and Gintoki never find out about this and keep believing he is a fearsome criminal.

Gintoki keeps sending angry texts to him.

Shinsuke tricks him into drinking some spoiled milk.

The cycle starts again.

**Author's Note:**

> I bet you didn't expect that (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ … or did you?
> 
> Again this was from a prompt and I thought it was actually too good to pass up even if I ended up writing something really crappy!
> 
> Don't blame this on me, blame it on the heat that is getting to me… I can't stop craving ice cream and listening to Big Time Rush… is that weird? I know I'm a weird person but is that *really* weird?
> 
> Also what would Shinsuke's illegal puppy activity be called? I have to choose a name because I want to use this in another story too… does this also make me weird? If it does please nobody answer.


End file.
